Lucky Strike Read online

  I start to reach for the doorknob when the door jerks open, coming to a halt by the chain.

  Fuck, it’s Jackson.

  “God damn, Nadine. Open this fucking door.” He’s seething mad and trying to grab at me through the small opening in the door.

  “Fuck you, Jackson,” I sneer back. He thinks me breaking his nose was bad just wait until he sees the rain of hurt I will put on him if he so much as lays a hand on me.

  He looks down at my bag then back up to me. “You think you’re leaving me, huh? No fucking chance. I fucking own your ass, Nadine.”

  “I’m not your fucking property, Jackson.”

  “The fuck you aren’t. You’re not going anywhere, you fucking bitch.” He jerks the door again trying to break the chain. Just as he reaches his arm through the gap, I slam the door on his arm as hard as I can. He screams out in pain then slumps down to the floor, cradling his arm against his chest.

  I hope it’s fucking broken.

  I run over to the slider door. Just as I open it, I can hear Jackson yelling out how I will never survive without him, and that I’ll be crawling back to him within a week. I made it on my own the first time he left me, and I sure as hell can do it again.

  I throw my bag over the balcony then carefully climb down to the neighbor’s railing and jump down to the ground. I sprint for the parking lot to my car. I look around making sure Jackson isn’t coming after me. I unlock the door and throw my bag inside then climb in behind the wheel. Turning the key, the engine roars to life. I put it into drive and skid out of the parking lot leaving Jackson and Mexico in my dust.

  I can hear my phone ringing inside my bag and I know it’s Jackson. I press the gas pedal to the floor needing to get as much distance between him and me as I can before I change my mind and go back. I just need to get home. I need to go back to Seattle and make things right again.

  The smell of fresh coffee wafts through the guest room from the kitchen, stirring me awake. I grab my phone from the nightstand checking the time, it’s after ten. Brooke and I didn’t get back to her house until almost dawn.

  It was a long night, to say the least, and the voicemail from the captain staring back at me is a harsh reminder that I’m in deep shit. I know this isn’t going to be good, but I was the dumbass that decided to go off the deep end and steal a police car so I’m fully prepared to face whatever disciplinary actions that the captain has in store for me. Even if it means losing my job. The only job I’ve ever really cared about.

  I throw the blankets back and rest my feet on the floor, running my hands through my hair. The night’s events running through my head when I realize I’d completely forgotten about Courtney.

  Fuck! Poor Courtney.

  I managed to convince Street not to charge her, but I never apologized for what happened. I’m sure hates me now.

  My attention shifts to the soft cry of Ella coming through my wall. Brooke must still be asleep. I get up from the bed and slip on a T-shirt. Stepping out into the hallway I walk over to Ella’s room. Opening the door, I see her standing up in her crib, and as soon as she sees me she starts jumping up and down excitedly. At least one person in the world is happy to see me.

  “Ry-Ry,” she babbles. I’ve been trying to get her to say Ryder but Ry-Ry is about as close as she gets. But I’ll take it because she’s cute as hell. Ella lifts her arms up for me to pick her up so I scoop her up in my arms and place a kiss on her cheek.

  “Good morning, kiddo.”

  Before Ella came along, I never gave babies or kids a second glance. To me, they were a mini reminder for me to always use a condom. But the moment I laid eyes on Ella when Brooke and Brian brought her home, she reminded me that at one time I wanted to have a family—a family with Lucky. Even though Ella brought back a painful reminder of how I was never going to achieve what I desired most in this world, I still love the hell out of this kid. And I don’t even mind that she has me completely wrapped around her tiny little finger. I would take a bullet for this kid.

  We make our way downstairs to the kitchen, where we find Brian preparing a snack for Ella. Ella calls out to him. Her little face all lit up like a Christmas tree.

  “I’m sorry man, did she wake you up?” Brian sets his knife down then wipes the banana off his hands and walks around the kitchen island.

  “It’s all right, I was already awake.”

  I put Ella in her high chair then go searching for a coffee cup. Brian sets a plate of bananas and pancakes on her tray then turns his attention to me.

  “Ryder, Brooke told me about what happened last night. And I just want to say I’m sorry for not being here for you the past few months. I feel bad, brother. Especially for bailing on you yesterday. I completely forgot it was Lucky’s birthday.” I could hear the regret and the remorse in his voice.

  “I haven’t exactly been easy to be around since Lucky left. I’ve been trying to fill the void of her being gone, and it’s just making everything worse. I feel so hollow without her.” I slump down into one of the bar stools. Resting my face in my hands. I’m spinning out of control without her.

  “I understand what you’re feeling right now, Ryder. You saw what I went through after I left Jillian. I hit rock bottom and I think this is your bottom. Now it’s time for you to decide if you’re going to let yourself drown, or pick yourself up and put the pieces of your life back together.”

  I know he’s right. If I continue down this road, I’m going to completely lose myself.

  “Brooke and I are here for you. You’re going to get through this.” He gives me a reassuring pat on the back and hear Ella say, “Ry-Ry,” again. “Even Ella is here for you, Uncle Ryder.” He chuckles.

  “Thanks, Brian. I guess I owe you some bail money.”

  “Don’t even worry about it. That’s what family is for.”

  “Speaking of family, that wife of yours doesn’t know how to take a no.”

  Brian throws his head back, letting out a deep hardy laugh. “No, she absolutely does not. Once she has her mind set on something, in this case helping you, she won’t stop until you and Lucky are married off with a bunch of kids.”

  “I think we should just focus on getting her home first.” I laugh. The idea of being with me made Lucky run, I’d hate to see what me asking her crazy ass to marry me would do.

  “I better get going. I have to go meet with the captain.”

  “Do you want me to come with you?”

  It was nice of Brian to offer, but I needed to deal with this on my own. “Thanks, but I got this. You stay here and spend time with Brooke and Ella.”

  “I’m sure it’s not going to be as bad as you think. You’re a good cop, Ryder, and the captain knows that.”

  “True, but I stole a fellow officer’s patrol car. Doesn’t matter if he’s an ass-kissing douche, I’m still in deep shit.”

  “But I’m sure seeing the look on Street’s face had to have made it slightly worth it,” he says with a chuckle.

  “Fuck yeah, it did. You should’ve seen his dumbass trying to run after me as I drove away. I wish would have recorded it.”

  Sitting in the captain’s office, I nervously await his decision on my future at the Second. My palms are sweating and my gut is twisted into a knot the size of a car. I’ve pulled my fair share of stunts since joining the force, but I don’t think a slap on the wrist and a few shifts on DUI duty is going to cut it this time.

  “Officer Callahan, I’ve had a chance to read over Officer Street’s report and a very interesting letter that I received from Brooke Gamble.”

  Wait, what? Brooke wrote him a letter. When did she have time to do that?

  “She basically filled in what’s been going on with you recently… that led to the events of last night. I don’t give two shits what Street has to say on the matter. You’re a great cop, who’s had his world ripped out from under him.” He sits back in his chair, folding his arms in front of him. “Which is why I’m not going to fire you.”
/>   “Are you serious? I can stay on the force?” My eyes widen in shock. I wonder what Brooke wrote in that letter to change the captain’s mind.

  “I can’t completely let you off the hook. I’m pulling you from active duty for the next six months, and putting you on gun cage duty until you can get your head on straight. You have a lot of potential to succeed here, Callahan. I don’t want to see you throw it all away.” I can see the sincerity in his eyes.

  “I promise I won’t ever do something this stupid again, sir. I’ve made a huge mistake and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to fix it.” It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I know my punishment should’ve been more severe, but God I’m grateful for whatever Brooke said to the captain. Being a cop is the only career that makes me happy. If I’d have lost that, I don’t know what I would have done.

  “Don’t make me regret this. I want you to take the rest of the week off to clear your head, then first thing Monday you can check in for cage duty.”

  “I promise I won’t let you down, sir.” I get up from my chair and shake his hand.

  Leaving the precinct I feel relieved, but quickly remember there’s still one other person I need to apologize to, Courtney.

  After I left the precinct, I stopped by my apartment to grab some extra clothes and my phone charger before heading back to Brian’s. The house was empty when I arrived back, so I took the opportunity to call Courtney to see if she would meet with me so I could apologize in person. I felt horrible that she got wrapped up in my shit. She’s such a sweet girl, she didn’t deserve the way I treated her.

  Courtney agreed to meet me at the dog park two blocks from Brian’s house. I put Lola on her leash and we walked down to the park. She’s sitting on one of the wooden benches when I arrive, so I walk over and tie Lola’s leash to the bench then take a seat next to her.

  “Thanks for meeting me,” I nervously start off. Half expecting her to slap me in the face, which I would completely deserve. When that doesn’t happen I continue, “Courtney, I’m really sorry for everything that happened last night. I’ve been going through some pretty tough shit lately, and sadly you got caught in the middle of my downward spiral, and for that I’m truly sorry.”

  “I know, Ryder. Your friend Brooke met with me while they were processing you for release. She told me that you pulled some strings to keep me from being arrested. And she told me what you’ve been going through. You have a really good friend in her.”

  Jesus, Brian was right. Brooke wasn’t going to stop until she helped me. “I’m realizing that more and more as this day goes on. I’m really sorry for what happened.”

  “Apology accepted. And thank you for keeping what happened last night off my record. I don’t know what would’ve happened if my family found out I was arrested for having sex in public.”

  “It’s the least I could’ve done. I owe you more than that.”

  “Don’t worry about, it’s water under the bridge now. At least, I can say I survived Hurricane Ryder,” she says. Softly giggling.

  “Hurricane Ryder?” I ask. Lifting a curious eyebrow up at her. I’ve been called a lot of things in my time but hurricane is a new one.

  “I’ve heard a couple of girls call you that at the bar. They say it’s because you come in fast and hard and leave women completely ruined in your wake.”

  We both laugh. “Damn, I like that one. I might keep it. Maybe even make up some T-shirts,” I chuckle.

  “When you do, send one my direction. I will proudly wear it.” Courtney looks over at me, her face softening and her lips curling into a small grin. “I hope you find your girl, Ryder. In the little time, I’ve spent with you, I know deep down you’re a nice guy, who deserves to be happy. And I really hope you find her.”

  “Thanks, Courtney. I know whoever is lucky enough to get to be yours is going to be the luckiest guy in the world.”

  I apologize to Courtney one more time. We hug, then Courtney leaves Lola and me on the bench. That went better than I’d imagined. I was fully prepared for a big dramatic scene. But before the fire could start Brooke had already put it out. I’m going to owe Brooke my first born for all the help she’s given me in the last twenty-four hours.

  I untie Lola from the bench, and as we start to walk through the small park a big, wrinkly, brown and white English Bulldog comes bounding toward Lola and me, then proceeds to mount Lola and go to town on her. I yell for him to stop, but he keeps pounding into her. I’m slightly impressed, now that’s my kind of dog, but I know the owner has to be somewhat mortified by what their dog is doing.

  I look around at the other people in the park and none of them seem to be paying attention. And there appears to be no one frantically looking around for their dog. Maybe he’s a stray. I bend down and manage to get the beast of a dog off Lola to check and see if he has any tags, but there are none. The pup licks my face. He’s too damn sweet for me to just leave him here. I feel a kindred spirit with this dog, one that’s too strong just to take him to the pound to leave him there. I pick his heavy ass up off the ground and figure I could take him to the vet and see if he’s chipped.

  The vet gives the dog a complete once over then checks for a locator chip, but there isn’t one.

  “This big guy is in great health. The owner might have decided they couldn’t care for him anymore. We see that a lot around here. If you’d like we can call animal rescue and have them take him down to the pound.”

  “No, I think I’ll take him home with me and see if I can locate the owner.” No owner, seems this dog is just as lost as I am.

  Maybe we can help each other?

  “So buddy, you want to come home with me?” I rub behind his ears as he licks my face.

  “I think that’s a yes.” The vet chuckles. “So what are you going to name him?” he asks.

  “Maybe Spike.”

  I let the dogs out in Brian’s backyard and head inside. Dropping my bags from the pet supply store down in the laundry room, I then head to the kitchen to fill Spike’s new water dish. Turning the corner, I notice Brooke sitting at the kitchen island feeding Ella her dinner. She looks up at me with a polite smile.

  “So how did it go with the captain?”

  “Better than I thought. I’m off active duty for the next six months and am on cage duty. I probably would have lost my job if it wasn’t for what you said in that letter you wrote to the captain. What did you say to him?” I ask leaning up against the counter.

  She feeds Ella her last spoonful of what looks to be mashed up peas, then collects the dishes and joins me over by the sink.

  “I just told him what’s been going on with you lately.”

  “Why would you help me out like that?”

  She sets the dishes in the sink then turns to face me. “I did it because I know what it’s like to have your world ripped out from under you. And I know how easy it is to go completely off the rails. You’ve lost enough over the past two years to lose your job too. Right now, you need the stability of your family and your job if you’re going to get through this.” She runs a comforting hand along my back. I turn and pull her into my arms.

  “Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me. You didn’t have to do any of this. You could have let me get fired.”

  “I wanted to. You’re a good guy, Ryder, and you deserve to be happy.” As we stand there hugging Spike comes in through the dog door and goes straight for Brooke’s leg and starts licking her bare skin. “Ryder, why’s there a strange dog licking my leg.”

  We both look down at Spike, who looks up at us with a big slobbery smile.

  “Brooke, this is Spike. I found him wandering alone at the dog park. When no one claimed him, I decided to keep him. He seems to really like Lola.” We both look over just in time to see Spike mounting Lola for round three.

  “Like father like son,” Brooke giggles. “Two lost souls finding each other. Maybe having this dog is what you need. Just make sure you keep him off
Lola when Brian’s around.”

  “I’ll do my best. Thank you again, Brooke.” If I weren't so in love with Lucky, I would have given Brian one hell of a fight for Brooke. He’s one lucky son of a bitch to have a woman like Brooke.

  “It was my pleasure. Now, how about we order pizza for dinner. This baby is craving a greasy slice of pepperoni pizza.”

  The music was vibrating through the walls of the Champagne Room. The smell of sex still hanging heavy in the air as Ryder and I laid sweat-laced in a tangled weave of limbs on the small leather couch. I could feel Ryder tracing his index finger along each petal of the clover tattoo on my left shoulder. The tattoo we both got when we were eighteen, as a way to always remember the special bond we’ve shared since we were little kids playing on the playground.

  His head dips down placing a gentle kiss over the “R” etched onto the final leaf and whispers, “My lucky clover.”

  His words like a hot knife to my heart. The searing pain bringing me back to reality. The reality that I’d just broken the only two rules I lived by. Never have sex in the Champagne Room and never, I repeat never, sleep with your best friend. In a stupid moment of weakness, I’d broken both those rules in one night.

  My whole body went rigged and cold against his touch. His words, “I love you, Lucky,” ringing in my ears. I had to get out of there. I had to get as far away from Ryder, from this city as I could. As much as I did love Ryder back, he deserved someone better than me. He deserved to be with someone who could make him happy. Someone who knew how to love him back. Not some dead behind the eyes, soulless stripper.